Advice urgently needed!!!!

babycavlove

babycavlove

New Member
I have the chance to help a year old female buff american cocker spaniel- a lady is trying to find this girl a new home as she was returned to her after her owners split up. She has come from a very abusive home where the man of the house regularly beat his wife and more than likely did beat this dog too...
Shes had her back with her for 3wks now and she said she now trusts her but is obviously scared of new people...im told shes not been aggressive just looks petrified and will totally shy away (i dont blame her the little love!!).
She isnt scared or aggressive with other dogs and hasnt bothered with the ladys cat...my worry is that i have kids. I do have stair gates through the house so can separate untill she is feeling happy with all members of the family but do you think this dog is too big a risk?? Im home all day and am willing to spend a lot of time with this dog, shes not very well house trained either but we have all wooden floors so this is not a problem- i had to train my 8yr old ex-beeding cav as she wasnt house trained so know what to expect and thats fine. What should i do?? Id love to help this girl be happy and to teach her that people are not all bad!! Would she be a huge risk though?? The breeder has said she will always have her back and would even come and pick her up if she doesnt settle here or if we cant cope.
 
babycavlove said:
...feeling happy with all members of the family but do you think this dog is too big a risk??
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If you have any doubts whether this dog is a risk to your family, which you do, then trust your better judgment and don't take this dog. There's other things you can do to help like buying her food, paying medical expenses, and providing transportation. Contact your nearest rescue and see if they can provide an appropriate foster home for her. Offer them a donation if you like. Please keep us updated.
 
Has the dog bitten or snapped at the current owners? If the dog hasn't shown signs of aggression (even if it's fear-related) at this point, then I think your chances are better that she won't show them to your family. But - and this is a big but - if she's not been exposed to kids, you really have no way of knowing how she's going to react. I agree with Manuel - if you're not sure, it's better to find a good rescue for this little girl and get her into that. A rescue can work on rehabilitating her and helping her through her issues.

Thank you for having such a big heart!
 
she hasnt shown any aggression at all to her or her family.....she said its more a distrust of strangers. Once she knows you and trusts you she is ok apparently. Shes been with her for 3wks now and she said shes now "all over them" and wags her tail. I dont personally think she will not be a risk wth the kids but my husband asked me. I personally think that if she trusts the breeder in 3wks that we could work with her???
 
Im considering getting her here and seeing if she will fit into our family...if it doesnt work out i would call a cocker rescue. I do think the breeder has the dogs best interests at heart but i dont want another breeder to pose as a pet owner and breed from her because shes free to good home....at least if i took her i know she would be ok- either with me or with the rescue finding her a home...what do you think??
 
I took a dog from my best friend who adopted him from a local shelter. He's my Pepper. He had very big time fear issues and also was a fear biter. But, and this is a big but.. I don't have young children, not even grandchildren (sigh).. so hubby and I could take that chance. I will tell you that Pep is a love, he's sweet, and wonderful now.. after years. But, he will never be a "normal" cocker. We know and recognize his limitations, and we are overjoyed when he makes inroads, and.. AND.. we have had him since 2001!

Michael and I are not novices.. we have had cockers for 20 years, all rescues with the exception of Stormy, our show boy from Robin here on this board.

Like Manuel and Kelly say, I say be careful. I wouldn't hesitate to make the same choice again, but, I don't have children.
 
manuel said:
If you have any doubts whether this dog is a risk to your family, which you do, then trust your better judgment and don't take this dog. There's other things you can do to help like buying her food, paying medical expenses, and providing transportation. Contact your nearest rescue and see if they can provide an appropriate foster home for her. Offer them a donation if you like. Please keep us updated.
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Based on personal experience with a similar situation I am going to agree with Manuel 100%. Unless you are knowledgeable enough in animal behavior and potential behavioral issues that may came out later, I would entrust her to a rescue with the resources available to properly temperament test her and rehabilitate her as needed.
 
Fear issues don't mean biter. I didn't read she was aggressive.

My suggestion is to go meet the dog. Fear can mean hiding, or no eye contact, or submissive behavior, like cowering, rolling over, peeing, etc.

Kids might frighten her, depends on the activity level and age of the children. For instance, our puppy mill dogs are fearful, but not at all aggressive.

If anything, they will slink away and hide.
 
Linny, I didn't really read aggressive into the original post either . . . but if this dog hasn't been exposed to kids, and some nervous dogs aren't great with kids' quick movement and high voices.

I really don't see anything wrong with taking her in, as long as you are right on top of monitoring her and not allowing ANY unsupervised time with your kids until you know how she's going to react. That also means giving her a nice long grace period to settle into your home. Some dogs take more than a month to really settle into a new family (some take even longer!).

My dogs had never been exposed to kids before my niece was born (and she's 5 now!!!). They all handled it really well, but I'm lucky. I know some dogs that haven't had exposure to kids are kind of intolerant (sort of like me, since I don't get a lot of exposure to kids LOL).

There are some GREAT booklets on Dr Patricia McConnell's website (http://www.patriciamcconnell.com) as well as a variety of books about fearful dogs on Dogwise (http://www.dogwise.com) that might help you get this little girl integrated into your family and settled in.
 
My caution comes not just from the interaction with the children, but more so from any issues that might manifest later. In my time fostering dogs, I have personally had a dog (my first foster) that came to me in a similar state - very shy and afraid and wary of men. She bonded very strongly with me, my kids, and my other dogs but after a few months displayed extreme separation anxiety (broke through a window and almost died from blood loss, destroyed literally thousands of dollars of household items, etc.), fear aggression toward strangers (even after constant, positive socialization in different scenarios), and dominance toward me (she tried to "correct" me as I was correcting one of my other dogs).

It could certainly be that the dog in this thread is shy now and just needs some positive socialization and time in a stable environment and will be fine. But I think people need to be aware of what they could potentially be getting themselves in to. Good intentions are not always enough if you're not very knowledgeable in dog behavior and behavioral issues. :(
 
I definitely agree with you Marti . . . dog behaviour is very complex, and can change dramatically over time. Even with a dog that's fine now, you never really know what's to come. I think being very aware of what a person is getting into is VITAL.
 
I would give her a chance and exercise caution, utilize a crate instead of gating off areas. She will feel more secure. Kids cannot play in her crate. Its hers and hers alone. Keep in mind it will take weeks (more than 3) for her true self to come out. I always evaluate dogs for 6.

For every 'boomerang home' she has it will affect her so try to go into the commitment with an open heart and mind.
 
Thank you everyone for your replies....we have decided to at least meet this girl and see what we think. I dont have proffessional experience with dogs but i have a lot of personal experience. Im doing a grooming course in May and i hope to go on and do canine psychology courses and dog agression courses as in the future i want to become a behaviourist and groomer. Im also going to my local rescue centre to see how i can help out...hopefully by walking the dogs and giving cuddles!!! So as you can see my life is dogs and i love it that way. I feel very passionate about helping dogs and i really would love to help this girl be all that she can. Im told shes already used to a crate and we have one here that we no longer use any more for our lab (he had it as a puppy). My kids are young but are very used to dogs and know when to leave well alone. If they are in their bed they leave them alone. They understand when to leave them alone and they never go near the crate. I really think because im home all day that i can give this girl the attention she needs. She hasnt snapped or shown any aggression since shes been back at the breeders home- just scared untill she trusts you. Im thinking if we do have her we would definately change her name- im sure she must have bad associations with her current name and im sure that will help a bit to make it a completely new start...
 
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